God, Cherries, Fans, Bread

Okay, first off I will say that something is on my mind, but it keeps whirling in several different directions so I am not quiet sure where this post is going but her goes anyway.

A week or so ago Austin was talking in one of our church meetings about how he had been thinking about the goodness of God. He said the verses in Matthew 7:9-11 had been on his mind. "You parents - if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

Austin said that as a father he has come to really see that verse more clearly. He said that we do things for Bailey all the time that she does not even realize that we do. For example, at night after she goes to sleep we always check on her to be sure she is in her bed and is cozy. Lots of nights she has gotten out of her bed and has fallen asleep in front of her fan. We pick her up and tuck her in comfortably. He wondered what all God does for us that we don't even realize he does.

That got me to thinking about God's love and who God truly is. I have been reading the book "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young. This is a fiction story about a man that truly experiences God and comes to know Him to be someone totally different than the "god" he thought He was. It gives you a fresh and exhilarating perspective about who God is. You should really read it. It will make you laugh, cry, and experience God. I really think that God gave this author a wonderful blessing in the ability to pen these words. If you want to read more about the book you can go to www.TheShackBook.com.

While reading this book I began to think more about God's love for us and how nothing we do can cause God to love us less or more. I think that most of us have heard our whole life that we can't do anything to make God stop loving us. But have we ever really thought about the fact that we can't do anything to make God love us more. His love is entirely complete and it is impossible to become more complete. Growing up I was a "good christian girl". I didn't do the things that good christian girls shouldn't do. I really thought God loved me but then again I was pretty lovable right?

The more I learn about God I realize that my arrogance and self righteousness was actually a barrier to God rather than something that brought me closer to Him. I have come to see others more the way God sees them, though still no where near perfection. I can love them despite their religion, skin color, social class, "righteousness". That last one was always the biggest struggle for me. I mean they weren't living right and that gave me the right to judge them, right? I now realize that I am no better than anyone else. I am so delighted that I can't do anything to change God's love that I can just live in that love. Yeah!!

Anyway I bet you are wondering about the cherry part of the title. Bailey loves cherries. Anytime we get a cherry limeade she always ask for the cherry. Tonight we were eating supper out and Austin got a milk shake with his meal. I noticed a little bowl with something red in it. Bailey noticed it to and asked what it was. Austin told her that when she was done eating she could see. By the time she was done eating she was so excited. When Austin pulled back the lid there were four cherries inside. I thought that was so sweet. Bailey had not even asked for or thought about cherries. Her daddy knew she loved them and got them for her just because. Isn't that the way God is?

I have been getting to know God out side of the "religious" box that I have always put Him in and more as the loving, real father that He is. God is so much bigger and greater than we realize. I must stop putting Him in this little box of what I can fathom and understand and let God be who He is.

Update!!

There has been lots going on lately. The following is a list of things that have been happening. Some of them I will do a more detailed post on later.

**We closed on our house this past Monday, but things have been so busy that we haven't had time to do much.

**We painted Bailey's new room. Two shades of pink and a chocolate brown. (Will post pics soon).

**Mom/Amanda's birthday dinner at Nashville.

**There was a frog in our living room at the new house today right beside Bailey. We had to get Austin to get it out but even he used a paper towel.

**We ate at a BBQ place in Memphis two days in a row this past week. Austin has made friends with the owner and he always gives us a great deal. The food is awesome. If you're ever in Memphis you'll have to check it out. The website is www.tomsbarbq.com.

**We've made several new friends the past couple of weeks. We seem to really relate well and share a similar vision for what God is doing with us in this area.

**We went to Fayetteville and watched Arkansas and Florida play last Saturday.

**Visited with Darren, Rachel, Ada, & Isaac (Austin's childhood friend Rachel) last Friday on our way to the football game.

**Bailey is doing wonderful with potty training. No accidents in over a month and even a dry pull up most mornings. Yeah!!

**Bailey likes school now, I think. She told me the other day "I still don't like my class, but I'm not going to cry". She loves The Little Gym though. We go every Tuesday evening. Austin even goes with us. Fun!!

**Fundraising season is in full swing. These next couple of months are our most busy time of year. We do more than half of our business within about two and half months.

I will post more details later along with some cute and funny pictures.

Reality Check!!

I am sitting here listening to Bailey. She is in the bath and talking to her toys. You can tell a lot about your parenting by listening to your kids talk. Sometimes, like now, I hear the way she talks to her babies and think do I sound like that. I don't want to think so, but I know I do. She tells her baby to do something then gets louder and louder each time her baby doesn't do what she is told. She says "Do you hear me". I'm not a yeller, but I do sound worse than I ever thought I would. I always envisioned myself as being a parent who would handle all situations calmly and rationally. How could I ever get aggravated at a sweet innocent child? Then I became a mom.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my child and I think overall I'm a pretty good mom. I spend lots of time with her and we talk constantly. I tell and show her how much she is loved nonstop, but there are definitely some areas I need to improve on. One of those is the way I handle her when she doesn't obey. I am easily frustrated and then don't handle the situation as I should. I worry all the time about the person I am teaching her to become. I pray God's grace will cover all of my parenting mistakes and somehow highlight the good things that I do.

I guess God is doing that because, I think anyway, Bailey is a wonderful little girl. I am tearing up right now just thinking about her. I definitely need to work on some things and become closer to the mom I always hoped to be. Don't think I'll ever reach the goal, but I will try each day to get closer. I think I'll go now and talk to her about what is going on with the babies in the tub.